Untoward Proclivity

He haunts my dreams, as I roll in the sheets,

This Magnum Man, dark chocolate inside and light caramel outside,

Tough and mush, he melts me every time we lock eyes,

I crave immortality to have power to spend indefinite lives with you,

All Man yet his eyes are so kind, my kind,

He conflicts me, He clicks with me,

Troubles me, fires me,

Drives me to the borders of insanity when I’m away from him,

When he’s with me time stands still,

He’s my pseudo persona,

The male me,

Such a Diva yet brave, determined, focused, tough and ambitious,

An artist constantly making things beautiful,

He makes me all woman,

What was life before him?

Without him I feel bereaved, a widow of his love,

With a single stroke of my hair,

He unnerves me,

This Is Voodoo,

Some black Magic,

He’s a bad man, bad man,

I can’t tell his good side from his bad side,

I am like waffles in his arms, spread chocolate all over me baby, eat me !!

I need this,

The cleanse can’t cleanse you,

Yoga can’t fix this addiction,

Baby, give me one more shot of you,

I crave toxic, I crave you,

lets do this

Reality can wait, let’s do this!!!!

My Forever

Dear My Forever,

 

How was your day ? A nightmare ? I hope not. Work was fine but thoughts of you crossed my mind . Le Lover , Boo , its taking forever for us to be together and since my first letter to you several experiments have happened. I seem to find bits of you in different men but not all of you. I was with Sammy the other day and I kept thinking how perfect it would be if the both of you knew each other and we could all be friends. I love you and I have since I created the idea of you my love.

I have written poems for you , dreamed of birthing a son and daughter for you. Raising a family with you but you remain in my dreams and are constantly hiding from my reality. Are you ashamed of me ? I’m I not good enough for you ? Are you chasing your own fairytale as I have chased you for years? Do you love me?

I wait for you when I line up at the bank to pay my bills, I look for you when the traffic lights turn red. At the pub the other day I kept starring at the entrance waiting for you to walk into my life. Baby, for real why do you walk so slow?  I stole a hug from Brian he feels warm and comfortable and he makes me laugh with his funny impressions. Are you Brian?

Baby, talk to me , I am tired of waiting for my love life to start . I am bored of kissing frogs to find my prince, I want to wake up next to you every morning and kiss you good night everyday. I want to make love to you with every ounce of my body and love you as though today is my last . Please let me love you. Please come home to me , send me a ping, an email or a text or pick up the phone and say hello.

I love you and I am waiting for our future to begin

 

Love always,

Love

Happy Holiday Santa

The holidays started out with the office secret Santa . I picked a girl and she was easy , so I didn’t have to worry too much about the gift . I moved on to other pressing issues : who was I going to spend the holidays with? I don’t want to rush things my name is Lily Tudor , I have big brown eyes and I drown men in them. I am well built and love my burger and fries . I am the girl next door but a very hotter version than some Susan, I am a cross breed of  your regular elegant chic and the tom  boy streak . I am perfect lets move on.

I work as a fashion consultant in a medium scale firm ( I am a sales rep in a large retail chain to be honest but it sounds cooler to say fashion consultant) . I met dru weeks ago at a bar on the mainland , I was out with my buddy Renee and Dru came to chill and we hit it off instantly. He’s not ordinarily my type( he’s not overly communicative, a jerk or a womanizer) . we chatted and surfed 3 bars together and at 4.30 am we were besties.

He didn’t ask for my number but when he called me the next day I wasn’t surprised , The silent types are usually resourceful. we started hanging out ( that’s a lie, hanging indoors together doing the crossword puzzles and indoor games). we spent a lot of time surfing each others aesthetic features but not really sealing the deal. spending time together became some kind of addiction . The intensity of the attraction could burn a bystander yet we were not a couple.

We started hanging outdoors with friends and tried to get the attraction out of the way with several hours of trying but the more we tried the more we felt. It was like magnets . Inseparable when in close proximity . This had been going on for three months till I met George , George is a lawyer with impeccable credentials. A straight shooter and we hit it off too . His was more of an intellectual hit off . we were mentally compatible. I couldn’t get myself to think of George outside the box. I like him outside the box and couldn’t think of Dru anywhere else but inside the box. who am I to spend the holidays with?

Tonight at 8pm . I am going to ask Dru over. I will greet him in a black lace corset with lace trimmings detailing at the bust, my skin oiled to perfection with Johnson petroleum jelly. My hair all bouncy and coiled , my lips properly glossed  , my eyes  will be made smoky with dark eye shadow, Asos see through stocking and Zara nude Peep toes with a splash of D & G the one around my neck . I will look into his deep blue eyes and ask will you spend the new year eve with me ?

Miles

Sitting at her desk, As a sales  person sitting isn’t really a big part of her job but she had to sit as she thought of him.  Miles with his perfect caramel skin, broad shoulders, his perfectly chiseled facial bones , his lips that seemed like they could ignite fire if they touched any part of her body, the innocence that radiates from his eyes when he smiles , she gasped  and let out a  soft mmmh from her soft lips as they parted.  smiled . She Wants and when Laura Andrew wants she usually gets .( a tiny voice in her head said not this time, she brushed it off).

Work has been a nightmare recently , she woke up to work & slept to the thoughts of work .  she hadn’t had drinks for weeks now and her legs were a mess . she hadn’t shaved in weeks . wow!!!  no wonder he blew me off ( she thought about miles a lot )  He hadn’t called after their surprised meet. she needed moral support and decided to call sally to her rescue.

Sally heard the vibrations on her desk but she could reach for the phone in this position. Her back was arched against her desk, her pencil skirt almost invisible and brain was having her for breakfast . Ahhh , she said but the phone wont stop ringing, she looked down at brain and said” darl, would you be a dear and pass me the phone?” he looked dazzled, “really now? ” he said and she smiled . As he passed her the phone he started to adjust his shirt  in a manner that said I have some dignity left  but in true sally fashion she said “rain check? ” and answered the phone.

“Hey you, sup? I was in the middle of my lunch break , this had better be important girl..” sally said. As Laura began the tale of Miles she listened to her friend and fiddled  with her pencil skirt , damn I may be adding weight .

Laura  had grown up in a middle class family , with a father who doted on her and her sister and cheated on her mother every second he had. she was raised as a good catholic girl and every now and again rewarded for

Laura Andrews

 

As Laura Andrews wore her favourite pink heels out of her apartment she knew today would be the day men prayed to God for a miracle. She strutted them like a pro off the runway. Her date was with her newest broker Mr. Miles Mufasa, He is of south African descent but born and raised in England , so you could taste his accent when he smiled . His perfume was delicate yet masculine a perfect british lay . Her Phone a samsung galaxy S3 rang and she danced a little to the tune with her shoulders swaying from right to left ( of course it was the beyonce’s song “who runs the world? ” girls song) . Immediately she heard his voice her inside resolve started to melt away , she wanted this man to touch her core .There was something in his voice pulling her towards him .she didn’t realize that he was cancelling their date till he said ” rain check darling”. who does that ? get a girl hot & bothered and cancel because you have a blablabla… meeting with your bosses friend. she sighed ,these heels can’t go to waste. she started scrolling through her whatsapp for the next available cutie. she let out a subtle chuckle at the name Leman Banks. They had met at a mall a few weeks ago and had coffee but she didn’t see potentials with a man who cared more about his looks than her but she was a beggar at this point so she can’t choose, so he would do for tonight. she sent him a blushing smiley and after the pleasantries : she told him that she was up & about and wanted to do dinner at his .. Did he mind? of course he said HELL nO.. (who are we kidding?) she rang alicia and told her not to wait up, and headed towards Vain Leman . As she rung the bell , she began to doubt her actions, was this rushed , too impulsive and then decided whatever we only live once. As Leman opened the door he looked as usual : smart casual sexy , smelled like bvlgari man extreme, she gave him a side hug and a peck on the cheek. She showed herself to the sitting area and there was Miles …………. To be Continued…..

suzy Adams

Suzy stood tall over 6ft and 3inches as she towered over me , I couldn’t help but stare into her big brown eyes .They look sad as always . I smiled and alighted from the car and gave her a big hug. We were all having a crappy week but I am going to keep my thoughts to myself for once and listen to her ( that’s friendship) . She just learned that Jide was married and their 7months perfect romance was over because last night his wife came back to town to surprise her hubby and rained down insults on the both of them ( I knew jide was married but I didn’t tell her because I had no proof other than my gut feeling and his annoying smile whenever  I meet him). A lying scum bag .

she kept raining insults on him and my mind began to drift , I spent Tuesday with Patrick , A Lawyer (semi refined man) but at my age I have to compromise a little . He dotes over me but I cant see a relationship growing from our numerous lunch dates. I don’t feel the passion and he said something about spending a weekend together . I am definitely not going any where private with that man ( I giggle and suzy looks at me ).

I know its not funny her predicament but as my good friend lola says “when its too good to be true, it isn’t true ” . Jide met suzy at the infamous Turquoise car wash . its where all the crème de la crème go to wash their cars . she drives a range rover sport and likes everyone to know it. it took four years and hustling to get her the range .

Jide was all over her immediately ,  they had dinner at  dunes and breakfast at vanilla, he shopped for her all over the place they were an item in a couple of weeks. everyone envied them except his friends and hers( me).

They made love for the first time in Dubai at the famous Burj Al Arab, she sent me a selfie  of herself in the Jacuzzi. I warned her that things seemed to be growing too fast , she called me a pessimist.

she snapped her fingers at me and said ” you haven’t heard a word I said ” . “of course , I did” I replied and started telling her about my latest catch mr  Brown Daniels . I told her it would take her mind off him

Brown Daniels is a chef , he owns a little restaurant I often go to eat lunch, he wears glasses but every time we have eye contact I shy away . recently , he asked for my number so randomly that I was unsure if it was romantic or business.

he invited me for dinner and after the soufflé ,  I let him have me three times on the restaurant floor. Suzy started to laugh and called me the S** word but who cares ? that’s how to have a man and a meal without complications.

 

 

Fidelity

How do I define fidelity? What is faithfulness in love? In marriage? In relationships. Do our hearts constantly betray us to obey where our bodies long to go? Do we make excuses for our bodies betrayal? What is faithfulness?

A friend called it a lack of opportunity to be unfaithful.  I smiled.

Is faithfulness when I give my heart and commit my body to you?  Is faithfulness not betraying you by giving strange looks to the cute guy checking me out at lunch? 

Is faithfulness not giving into the temptations, even though you are miles away?

Why doesn’t the love I feel chase the loneliness away? Why doesn’t it take away the heat & the hunger? Why do I crave for you more? 

Is faithfulness reaching out to you in any way, with any medium or I’m I too blind to see that I am not a woman in love? But one so full of lust that I have converted it to love?  The books portray love with no shades of grey; the thoughts of another should make my skin fall off. Do I cringe at the thought of you with someone else???? I only wonder if it can even be (I am truly blinded in love) 

Why do I need you? Why I’m I here struggling so hard to define a word that needs no definition.

We cheat when we pour our hearts to strangers we barely know, we cheat when we linger on in a hug, we cheat when we reminisce previous lives with our ex. We cheat when we fantasize of the crazy, sex and weird neighbour we always talk about. Yet we limit fidelity to crimes we commit with our bodies, the touching of our lips and caressing of arms.

Is love really exclusive because as far as I know for a while it is but love constantly evolves that’s why I am glad that as of today I am still in the truly, madly, deeply phase.

 

 

LUST IN LOVE..

As he smiled,

she smiled.

they said come what may

they won’t graze the hay,

a few hours after dawn,

i hear her moan,

cries of passion,

some have never known,

at the break of dawn noone spoke,

he never says goodbye, neither does she,

they soil several sheets,

in between their meets,

they can’t sit still between their meals,

as  days pass,

lust fades fast,

she wonders why ..

he wonders how ..

on they go,

off they go,

who is screwed?

he or her?