Untoward Proclivity


He haunts my dreams, as I roll in the sheets,

This Magnum Man, dark chocolate inside and light caramel outside,

Tough and mush, he melts me every time we lock eyes,

I crave immortality to have power to spend indefinite lives with you,

All Man yet his eyes are so kind, my kind,

He conflicts me, He clicks with me,

Troubles me, fires me,

Drives me to the borders of insanity when I’m away from him,

When he’s with me time stands still,

He’s my pseudo persona,

The male me,

Such a Diva yet brave, determined, focused, tough and ambitious,

An artist constantly making things beautiful,

He makes me all woman,

What was life before him?

Without him I feel bereaved, a widow of his love,

With a single stroke of my hair,

He unnerves me,

This Is Voodoo,

Some black Magic,

He’s a bad man, bad man,

I can’t tell his good side from his bad side,

I am like waffles in his arms, spread chocolate all over me baby, eat me !!

I need this,

The cleanse can’t cleanse you,

Yoga can’t fix this addiction,

Baby, give me one more shot of you,

I crave toxic, I crave you,

lets do this

Reality can wait, let’s do this!!!!


Baggage Claim

Baggage is the luggage we carry when we are in transit. Today I owned up to myself about my emotional baggage the one I claim at my relationship entry and exit stations like the airport baggage claims when you enter a new country.

Baggage is associated with transit, so if you have one (baggage) you are a traveller (yes, you are!).

If you want to standstill and are tired of running like me (formerly a commitment phobic). You have to unpack your bag. So hiding it or forgetting it doesn’t help.

In the movie the Cinderella story (the Hillary duff version) my favorite line is “Don’t let the fear of failing stop you from playing the game”.

The pain of a heartbreak is great especially if you truly loved but is that enough reason to give up?

I don’t want to wake up at 50 and wonder what happened. It’s easy to blame the past but I guess moving on is really about the baggage. Letting go and emptying the baggage and throwing away the hurtful words said by the loved ones, the insecurities created by the situations. That is moving on for real. Baggage makes anyone tired. Are you tired?

Baggage is not unique to love affairs some of the heaviest baggage come from our families, friends and so forth. The things people said to us WITHOUT CAREFUL thought that has hung over our head for years. It is time to let it go.

I spoke with a friend yesterday and he said that we should be careful on how we treat people because our actions can affect someone’s future. The decisions they make etc. it is easy to be mean but honesty, kindness and sincerity in interactions with others comes from a sound mind and the knowledge of God.

This brings me back to the fact that once bitten, who wants to get bitten again? No one but as I used to tell a friend of mine I would rather feel pain than feel nothing at all.

Some people have the baggage immunity, those who forgive themselves easily and are not overly critical of their actions. Some others mask their baggage and carry it forever and some people find others to carry this baggage with them.

The question here is who has a baggage?

Anyone dating someone who makes them feel bad about himself or herself? (Why put up with this? the baggage)

Having a friend who doesn’t appreciate you yet you keep sucking it up? (Why put up with this? the baggage)

Anyone doing the friends with benefit (why do this? the baggage)

Why accept less than more? The baggage.

The examples are endless …

Should you run at the first sign of imperfection when you meet someone? No.

I am saying fix you first before you find someone. If you do find someone decided if the baggage they carry can be let go of? If you can’t then admit and walk away. There is no shame in that.

Subconsciously like the airport we pick up our baggage and enter into new lands with the emotional baggage. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I put down my baggage.

I opened my baggage and I looked inside the bag and it was full but now I know. I am dealing with it and I feel lighter already than I have felt in years.

Feel free to claim a baggage today. Cheers.