Dear Daughter,

Dear Natalie,

This letter should come to you as no surprise, as I hope the years we have spent so far together have been joyful and light-hearted. As you turn 16, I hope we are closer than ever because today though you are unborn I find myself closer to you than ever.

I met your father when I had almost given up on the idea of happily ever after, I am a hopeless romantic and there were nights I prayed to God to change me but in the end I always hope for the kind of love that enriches life and not sucks you dry. We met at a book reading, nothing fancy but he found me pleasant and charming, fun-loving yet stern, my awkwardness, and eeriness he considered creepy yet endearing. He worships the ground I walk on and even till date when I am not looking I catch him staring at me as though he can’t imagine his luck for having found me. As you know your pa was hell-bent on ending up alone but the thought of living life without me made him take the plunge.

I hope you never get to the point of giving up, or settling for less than you deserve because you need a hug. I know today that thought seems ridiculous but believe me it happens to the best of us, I dated lots of great men and boys but my heart never felt such joy as the day I had you ( in my mind you were conceived first), you made me rediscover purpose and you are a result of a mind-blowing love.

Someone asked me what is so bad with my reality that I am stuck on fairy tales; he obviously hasn’t read lots of books. fairy tales teaches us hope despite what life throws at us, the end is always happy. Why should I settle for ordinary when the extraordinary is available?

Who wants a marriage of convenience? My quest for true love was filled with tales of woe and heartaches and pain but it was worth it. I wish I had been smarter with my heart, a little more patient in my decision-making process but I can’t spend eternity dwelling on the past. I loved and lost till I found a love that transcended imperfections and childish connotations, I found a friend and a lover, a champion and a warrior, I found my King and I wish that for you my dear.

When it comes to dealing with people:

Listen to their actions, not words

Never make haste to make a decision

A non decision is a decision

Friends first before lovers

Friendship shows true character and only out of that can you find love

Take your own advice, if your heads says its wrong it probably is

Never regret trying

If you fail, don’t give up, try again

People make time for things they love

If you can’t see their souls they are not worth it

If you won’t do the work don’t start

Never toy with anyone’s feelings

Be honest and brave

Guard your heart and your soul, never lose it no matter how bad the other person treats you, remain you

Never mind the ones who make you feel ordinary. You are a miracle, a result of a love people consider impossible. Everyday, I thank GOD for the privilege of having you, so don’t let a two-piece hack tell you different.

If there ever is a man alive who doesn’t think you are enough; he probably isn’t enough for you either so don’t cry too long. For the right man you will be enough.

Don’t let the clusters of people’s past get you stuck in a nightmare, their history isn’t yours, you are great and are loved. Today and always and if no one tells you in this lifetime, I am your mother and I love you to bits.

Forever,

Mum

My Romantic heart is Dead

This maybe the last piece I will ever write on love; as my quest has been tumultuous and time consuming and has led to no fruition. I achieved nothing in this quest except the bitter truth that love is not enough.

The reality is that love works under certain conditions for it to be true, timing must be appropriate, family has to approve (if not you both feel shunned), history at least for the girl must be the barest minimum, your occupation should be noble and your background should be similar or close enough.

New requirements include social media status, the number of likes on the girls page should be equal to that of her mans, society approval of compatibility is key, don’t forget music lovers must stick together #Artgang

What happened to soul compatibility?

What happened to the honesty of a kiss that’s unadulterated by lust?

What happened to the clear indications of happiness? Talking to that person forever and not noticing time fly by?

What happened to hugs that warm up your heart?

What happened to similar hunger to succeed?

What happened to the quest for knowledge and renewed passion?

What happened to true friendship?

What happened to someone who makes you feel safe by saying hello. What happened to what we feel?

Are we all destined to be cowards? Where are the poets? Who wrote sonnets of unrequited love, what happened to Shakespeare’s tale? Is romance dead with the jet age or are our hearts too weak to fight for what we feel?

Am I the only one clueless on the joke? Is true love dead?   The answer doesn’t matter I am all out of tricks and I am laying my heart to rest for only my unborn will ever reawaken her to the maximum capacity. no man’s words, caresses will ever inspire her resurrection.

I am Florence Warmate and my romantic heart is dead.

Goodnight.

Untoward Proclivity

He haunts my dreams, as I roll in the sheets,

This Magnum Man, dark chocolate inside and light caramel outside,

Tough and mush, he melts me every time we lock eyes,

I crave immortality to have power to spend indefinite lives with you,

All Man yet his eyes are so kind, my kind,

He conflicts me, He clicks with me,

Troubles me, fires me,

Drives me to the borders of insanity when I’m away from him,

When he’s with me time stands still,

He’s my pseudo persona,

The male me,

Such a Diva yet brave, determined, focused, tough and ambitious,

An artist constantly making things beautiful,

He makes me all woman,

What was life before him?

Without him I feel bereaved, a widow of his love,

With a single stroke of my hair,

He unnerves me,

This Is Voodoo,

Some black Magic,

He’s a bad man, bad man,

I can’t tell his good side from his bad side,

I am like waffles in his arms, spread chocolate all over me baby, eat me !!

I need this,

The cleanse can’t cleanse you,

Yoga can’t fix this addiction,

Baby, give me one more shot of you,

I crave toxic, I crave you,

lets do this

Reality can wait, let’s do this!!!!

Fancy a drink Mate?

Cassy and Andy have been in a pseudo relationship for weeks now. Everyone in their lives has seen them together except them. After drinks at the pub Cassy asked ” are we official now ?” Andy said ” babe, look at me aren’t we happy ? isn’t this good?” . I like waking up to you. I smell your perfume when you are not around and although I have never said this  I love you, this is probably confusing but don’t you feel like we are meant to be together? Cassy smiles and breathes out. 31st of December and a few seconds to midnight and her middle aged lover wont admit he’s in a relationship with her . Is this dating?

Paul skyfall saw a couple who seem a little lost talking and he decided to walk around them to the pub. His last girlfriend had called him a stingy bastard because he didn’t buy gifts so he knew better than date . As he got closer he realized they were having a tiff ( damn , women how can you have a tiff on the 31st with your man? look at the weather ) As he brushes past cassy she spins around and their faces touch . She smiles and impulsively kisses paul, as their lips touch it awakens all the desires she had been burying trying to be in a relationship with Andy. Paul manages out of the kiss and says” oi, what was that for mate?” she says ” fancy a drink mate?” he pauses then nods as they walk in silence to lala land.

Miles

Sitting at her desk, As a sales  person sitting isn’t really a big part of her job but she had to sit as she thought of him.  Miles with his perfect caramel skin, broad shoulders, his perfectly chiseled facial bones , his lips that seemed like they could ignite fire if they touched any part of her body, the innocence that radiates from his eyes when he smiles , she gasped  and let out a  soft mmmh from her soft lips as they parted.  smiled . She Wants and when Laura Andrew wants she usually gets .( a tiny voice in her head said not this time, she brushed it off).

Work has been a nightmare recently , she woke up to work & slept to the thoughts of work .  she hadn’t had drinks for weeks now and her legs were a mess . she hadn’t shaved in weeks . wow!!!  no wonder he blew me off ( she thought about miles a lot )  He hadn’t called after their surprised meet. she needed moral support and decided to call sally to her rescue.

Sally heard the vibrations on her desk but she could reach for the phone in this position. Her back was arched against her desk, her pencil skirt almost invisible and brain was having her for breakfast . Ahhh , she said but the phone wont stop ringing, she looked down at brain and said” darl, would you be a dear and pass me the phone?” he looked dazzled, “really now? ” he said and she smiled . As he passed her the phone he started to adjust his shirt  in a manner that said I have some dignity left  but in true sally fashion she said “rain check? ” and answered the phone.

“Hey you, sup? I was in the middle of my lunch break , this had better be important girl..” sally said. As Laura began the tale of Miles she listened to her friend and fiddled  with her pencil skirt , damn I may be adding weight .

Laura  had grown up in a middle class family , with a father who doted on her and her sister and cheated on her mother every second he had. she was raised as a good catholic girl and every now and again rewarded for

Fidelity

How do I define fidelity? What is faithfulness in love? In marriage? In relationships. Do our hearts constantly betray us to obey where our bodies long to go? Do we make excuses for our bodies betrayal? What is faithfulness?

A friend called it a lack of opportunity to be unfaithful.  I smiled.

Is faithfulness when I give my heart and commit my body to you?  Is faithfulness not betraying you by giving strange looks to the cute guy checking me out at lunch? 

Is faithfulness not giving into the temptations, even though you are miles away?

Why doesn’t the love I feel chase the loneliness away? Why doesn’t it take away the heat & the hunger? Why do I crave for you more? 

Is faithfulness reaching out to you in any way, with any medium or I’m I too blind to see that I am not a woman in love? But one so full of lust that I have converted it to love?  The books portray love with no shades of grey; the thoughts of another should make my skin fall off. Do I cringe at the thought of you with someone else???? I only wonder if it can even be (I am truly blinded in love) 

Why do I need you? Why I’m I here struggling so hard to define a word that needs no definition.

We cheat when we pour our hearts to strangers we barely know, we cheat when we linger on in a hug, we cheat when we reminisce previous lives with our ex. We cheat when we fantasize of the crazy, sex and weird neighbour we always talk about. Yet we limit fidelity to crimes we commit with our bodies, the touching of our lips and caressing of arms.

Is love really exclusive because as far as I know for a while it is but love constantly evolves that’s why I am glad that as of today I am still in the truly, madly, deeply phase.