Why : sHOES?

Shoes are everything, yes I am not Carrie Bradshaw , but every “sex and the city ” fan knows that without the shoes that movie was just about four women trying to find love in New York.

Flat shoes are very comfortable, round or pointed. Gloss or suede they do the job. It is sister Mary. She’s the catholic girl next door. She’s good but you don’t approach her if you don’t want anything serious.

Boots, these require a certain level of attention, for there are those who buy boots just for winter. There are others who know a well-worn boots under a dress or wrapped around the perfect pair of jeans can make men stare for days.

Strappy sandals, every girl’s best friend she is available for casual Saturdays under the summer dress and she’s available to go for weddings with you. She is your main girl. Lets not forget how she makes you look fragile yet classy for all your important dates.

High heeled Shoes:  Red, pink, blue, bursting summer yellow, grey or gold. There’s an extra to you as a lady once you put on heels. It doesn’t let you slouch or look like you didn’t make an effort. She makes you sexy, she is the mother hen of shoes: peep toes, wedges, and pointy shoes. She is your mum; she commands respect. She grooms you for work, for business casual, for that conference, for church and for life.

So why shoes? I say why not.

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Labels and why , oh HI !! …

I always was a sucker for labels. To be identified as good, smart, intelligent, sexy, and witty. The constant need to be the perfect woman and get everyone’s approval. Whew!! It was stressful; the journey of people pleasing is so exhausting. Do you know why? Nothing is ever enough, you are kind and people think your kindness is a scam to manipulate them. You are generous and they may think you are trying to buy their affection .You are happy, you may have a secret lover.

Screw label’s, I am a weirdo. Sometimes, I am overly loud and say and do inappropriate things. Other times, I am the patron saint of love. I am unusually kind, forgiving and amiable.

Who/what makes us care about labels? We are labelled from an early age, in playgroup, that’s the shy kid, that’s the vibrant kid. In high school, the labels are: popular kid, smart kids, loose kids, born again, etc. You are the bully or you are getting bullied. Or God forbid the untouchable cool kids. Those we all want to be but love to hate. They do the most on Instagram (i.e perfect posts by the beach #waves, #summer vibes) .

Please we all drink coffee and I know it’s the Holy Grail to you but a morning run, or any workout gives you the same feeling. You don’t see a lot of #greentea posts without the chill vibes; coffee drinkers will make you believe they are zombies before coffee (I know I will get backlash for this, you guys will be ok). Yes, we tea lovers need to start a movement.

I haven’t written in a while but I am back now. I thought I was hiding behind words and not living but that was the opposite. The keyboard is the truth; I am the most authentic when I write. It doesn’t matter what people label you as; but it’s important to know whom you are and own it. That’s how you become whole.

What’s your label? Embrace, it. Except you are: a F**CK Boy, a Stalker, a con artist etc. . You need to find another label.

For the rest of us weirdos, see you tomorrow. Oh, I’m going to do a why series? Who knows why?

 

 

Tales We Tell No One ..( Have you found the dress? )

Yesterday I went to the mall in search of my soul,

I searched the stores endlessly for the dress to express how I felt.

The dress that makes you digress,

Go off the route plan,

Makes you find a man with a life plan.

The dress is neither modest nor sexy,

It’s perfectly in-between.

The dress!!!

I searched for the dress forgot about my budget,

So I tried on the frilly dress and then the satin jumpsuit.

As I walked passed the sales aisle she stared at me,

Miss frumpy blue, she is Navy blue, a little above the knees and she has little embroidery details around the bosom area.

I found her.

To anyone else she was ordinary.

I wore her and I achieved emotional balance.

Miss blue sat perfectly on my slim curves and covered all my flaws.

She was all I needed and I paid for her.

As I walked past Mr nobody, I smiled.

He wouldn’t remember me though I am a beautiful woman with a blue dress on.

I will remember the attention he paid to me a bewildered look

As I had no makeup on but I glided the mall halls like it was a runway,

I found the dress and all was well in the world.

Have you found your dress?

Young happy smiling attractive hugging couple and woman looking

Daniel Thompson

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I accidentally ran into an ex recently, Daniel Thompson, 36 , Brown eyes , Bulky build, and he wore his ring like handcuffs . He looked downtrodden. Perhaps, that’s how I choose to see him. We exchanged pleasantries and not long after. He asked me “Still single right? “. He had this sadness to his eyes; it wasn’t the judgmental stare that my married female friends give me when the see me at the mall on Saturday with my shorts and tank top. He looked genuinely worried, we dated a while back but it never got to the point where I could say I do or he would drop on one knee and ask the question. We had a kind of love but we kept our lives separate and never overindulged in each other’s affairs, no jealous squabbles (A very mature relationship some would say) of course, I found it boring that, he would never throw me on the bed and kiss me till I run out of breath. I found it annoying that he could never lose his calm when I was stubborn for no good reason. It felt like a business transaction to me and I promised me long ago if it’s not a fiery all-consuming love I would never marry. (We all know why, I am still single now). He grabbed my hand and I followed him, I said good-bye to my shopping cart and looked forward to tea and salad.
After, the red-haired waitress took our order after grilling us over and over about mayonnaise. He began to tell his story ” Evelyn and I dated shortly after I met you, she is a doctor (he looks to me as though I should know this so I nod) and her deposition when we were dating was one full of care and nurturing (he lowered his eyes again, he had complained that I wasn’t caring because I didn’t make a fuss every time he told me about his hypochondriac symptoms). We dated 2 years and got married. She was a virgin ( I smile, interesting) . After the honeymoon she got pregnant and we had our daughter Shelia. She quit work and decided to be a stay at home mum and I agreed because I loved her (yea, right). After giving birth to Shelia, she moved to the baby room and eats, sleeps breathes the baby. (Where is he going with this?) .I get a nanny Matilda to assist Shelia with the chores so we can bond and now she factors Matilda into everything. I got home from work earlier today and found them in bed together so I stormed off and ended up here. What do you think I should do Clara?”(I try to speak but I say nothing& thank God I am single, at times like this no attachment looks good, while preparing me to give advice that I am not qualified to give).

Carrie

Carrie started to beat herself up after hanging up the call . Jake made her feel dumb but she felt an unexplained bond to him. He has the nicest eyes and whenever she looked into them she felt she could bare her soul to him. Jake is the regular guy next door and they got along fine as friends till he kissed her one drunken night. Since then they have had the most torrid affair and she couldn’t get herself to stop. She blames the eyes.

Jake sat in his backyard wearing his knickers and multi colored socks with a wind cheater , he looked puzzled. what was that call about? I love this woman and she loves me why cant we get along? He made his way into his bungalow and shut the door behind him , As he hung his coat he reminisced how they met. It was the summer of 1988 then all the young girls came out to the country to have some good fun and he saw her walk down the street in brown khakis and a yellow and white jump suit, her hair was a mess and she wore white sneakers with red polka dot socks . she looked adorable and clueless. he walked up to her and asked “hello miss , did you ,misplace your dog?” she smiled and replied ” no sir, I am on my way to the bakers to get you baked “. They both laughed and became fast friends.

Carrie hated being mad at anyone but this emotional dance was turning her into a monster , so when she heard the ping from her phone she decided to ignore and increased the Beyoncé’s irreplaceable song coming from her mac book. Her apartment could use some sprucing up and she decided to do just that. As she dusted she heard the vibrating sound from the phone and she picked up . Hello , hello Jake are you there? said Carrie.

“Will you marry me Carrie?” said Jake . The next few seconds that followed were so silent that a million angels could have run errands, then Carrie said  “oh wow , Jake wow,… (a million thoughts flew through her mind ) we should talk about this sometime, I got to go”.

Happy Holiday Santa

The holidays started out with the office secret Santa . I picked a girl and she was easy , so I didn’t have to worry too much about the gift . I moved on to other pressing issues : who was I going to spend the holidays with? I don’t want to rush things my name is Lily Tudor , I have big brown eyes and I drown men in them. I am well built and love my burger and fries . I am the girl next door but a very hotter version than some Susan, I am a cross breed of  your regular elegant chic and the tom  boy streak . I am perfect lets move on.

I work as a fashion consultant in a medium scale firm ( I am a sales rep in a large retail chain to be honest but it sounds cooler to say fashion consultant) . I met dru weeks ago at a bar on the mainland , I was out with my buddy Renee and Dru came to chill and we hit it off instantly. He’s not ordinarily my type( he’s not overly communicative, a jerk or a womanizer) . we chatted and surfed 3 bars together and at 4.30 am we were besties.

He didn’t ask for my number but when he called me the next day I wasn’t surprised , The silent types are usually resourceful. we started hanging out ( that’s a lie, hanging indoors together doing the crossword puzzles and indoor games). we spent a lot of time surfing each others aesthetic features but not really sealing the deal. spending time together became some kind of addiction . The intensity of the attraction could burn a bystander yet we were not a couple.

We started hanging outdoors with friends and tried to get the attraction out of the way with several hours of trying but the more we tried the more we felt. It was like magnets . Inseparable when in close proximity . This had been going on for three months till I met George , George is a lawyer with impeccable credentials. A straight shooter and we hit it off too . His was more of an intellectual hit off . we were mentally compatible. I couldn’t get myself to think of George outside the box. I like him outside the box and couldn’t think of Dru anywhere else but inside the box. who am I to spend the holidays with?

Tonight at 8pm . I am going to ask Dru over. I will greet him in a black lace corset with lace trimmings detailing at the bust, my skin oiled to perfection with Johnson petroleum jelly. My hair all bouncy and coiled , my lips properly glossed  , my eyes  will be made smoky with dark eye shadow, Asos see through stocking and Zara nude Peep toes with a splash of D & G the one around my neck . I will look into his deep blue eyes and ask will you spend the new year eve with me ?

Miles

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Sitting at her desk, As a sales  person sitting isn’t really a big part of her job but she had to sit as she thought of him.  Miles with his perfect caramel skin, broad shoulders, his perfectly chiseled facial bones , his lips that seemed like they could ignite fire if they touched any part of her body, the innocence that radiates from his eyes when he smiles , she gasped  and let out a  soft mmmh from her soft lips as they parted.  smiled . She Wants and when Laura Andrew wants she usually gets .( a tiny voice in her head said not this time, she brushed it off).

Work has been a nightmare recently , she woke up to work & slept to the thoughts of work .  she hadn’t had drinks for weeks now and her legs were a mess . she hadn’t shaved in weeks . wow!!!  no wonder he blew me off ( she thought about miles a lot )  He hadn’t called after their surprised meet. she needed moral support and decided to call sally to her rescue.

Sally heard the vibrations on her desk but she could reach for the phone in this position. Her back was arched against her desk, her pencil skirt almost invisible and brain was having her for breakfast . Ahhh , she said but the phone wont stop ringing, she looked down at brain and said” darl, would you be a dear and pass me the phone?” he looked dazzled, “really now? ” he said and she smiled . As he passed her the phone he started to adjust his shirt  in a manner that said I have some dignity left  but in true sally fashion she said “rain check? ” and answered the phone.

“Hey you, sup? I was in the middle of my lunch break , this had better be important girl..” sally said. As Laura began the tale of Miles she listened to her friend and fiddled  with her pencil skirt , damn I may be adding weight .

Laura  had grown up in a middle class family , with a father who doted on her and her sister and cheated on her mother every second he had. she was raised as a good catholic girl and every now and again rewarded for Continue reading

Laura Andrews

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As Laura Andrews wore her favourite pink heels out of her apartment she knew today would be the day men prayed to God for a miracle. She strutted them like a pro off the runway. Her date was with her newest broker Mr. Miles Mufasa, He is of south African descent but born and raised in England , so you could taste his accent when he smiled . His perfume was delicate yet masculine a perfect british lay . Her Phone a samsung galaxy S3 rang and she danced a little to the tune with her shoulders swaying from right to left ( of course it was the beyonce’s song “who runs the world? ” girls song) . Immediately she heard his voice her inside resolve started to melt away , she wanted this man to touch her core .There was something in his voice pulling her towards him .she didn’t realize that he was cancelling their date till he said ” rain check darling”. who does that ? get a girl hot & bothered and cancel because you have a blablabla… meeting with your bosses friend. she sighed ,these heels can’t go to waste. she started scrolling through her whatsapp for the next available cutie. she let out a subtle chuckle at the name Leman Banks. They had met at a mall a few weeks ago and had coffee but she didn’t see potentials with a man who cared more about his looks than her but she was a beggar at this point so she can’t choose, so he would do for tonight. she sent him a blushing smiley and after the pleasantries : she told him that she was up & about and wanted to do dinner at his .. Did he mind? of course he said HELL nO.. (who are we kidding?) she rang alicia and told her not to wait up, and headed towards Vain Leman . As she rung the bell , she began to doubt her actions, was this rushed , too impulsive and then decided whatever we only live once. As Leman opened the door he looked as usual : smart casual sexy , smelled like bvlgari man extreme, she gave him a side hug and a peck on the cheek. She showed herself to the sitting area and there was Miles …………. To be Continued…..

suzy Adams

Suzy stood tall over 6ft and 3inches as she towered over me , I couldn’t help but stare into her big brown eyes .They look sad as always . I smiled and alighted from the car and gave her a big hug. We were all having a crappy week but I am going to keep my thoughts to myself for once and listen to her ( that’s friendship) . She just learned that Jide was married and their 7months perfect romance was over because last night his wife came back to town to surprise her hubby and rained down insults on the both of them ( I knew jide was married but I didn’t tell her because I had no proof other than my gut feeling and his annoying smile whenever  I meet him). A lying scum bag .

she kept raining insults on him and my mind began to drift , I spent Tuesday with Patrick , A Lawyer (semi refined man) but at my age I have to compromise a little . He dotes over me but I cant see a relationship growing from our numerous lunch dates. I don’t feel the passion and he said something about spending a weekend together . I am definitely not going any where private with that man ( I giggle and suzy looks at me ).

I know its not funny her predicament but as my good friend lola says “when its too good to be true, it isn’t true ” . Jide met suzy at the infamous Turquoise car wash . its where all the crème de la crème go to wash their cars . she drives a range rover sport and likes everyone to know it. it took four years and hustling to get her the range .

Jide was all over her immediately ,  they had dinner at  dunes and breakfast at vanilla, he shopped for her all over the place they were an item in a couple of weeks. everyone envied them except his friends and hers( me).

They made love for the first time in Dubai at the famous Burj Al Arab, she sent me a selfie  of herself in the Jacuzzi. I warned her that things seemed to be growing too fast , she called me a pessimist.

she snapped her fingers at me and said ” you haven’t heard a word I said ” . “of course , I did” I replied and started telling her about my latest catch mr  Brown Daniels . I told her it would take her mind off him

Brown Daniels is a chef , he owns a little restaurant I often go to eat lunch, he wears glasses but every time we have eye contact I shy away . recently , he asked for my number so randomly that I was unsure if it was romantic or business.

he invited me for dinner and after the soufflé ,  I let him have me three times on the restaurant floor. Suzy started to laugh and called me the S** word but who cares ? that’s how to have a man and a meal without complications.

 

 

Why do we get married ?

Why do people get married ?  sally asked barbara as they sipped martinis . i smiled i am so over Mr. Blue with his mixed signal after the horrible double date with the marleys i swear being single isn’t that bad.

 

Yesterday , i went to a pool party and met samson, emmanuel, joel , jerry and steve , three out of five of them were married. They carried on like they had no cares in the world . As the games began ( the drinking games ) i saw them ogle like teenagers after their first wet dream.  it raised the question why do we get married?

Jerry 45 , hot dude , four and  a half packs, a middle management executive in a government a parastatal with 2 kids and 1 in the oven.. , Joey 36 , married last year came with his young mistress who is 21 years old, no kids,  emmanuel , 40 , 4 kids married 8 years . 

SaLLY Johnson , food of the Gods , we ogled her : men , women, girls , boys and cats etc. the random passersby only hoped to catch a glimpse of this miracle. she stood before me in her blue and white bikini . Her curves seem like they were carved in marble , fine and smooth as she just came out of the pool , water  dripping from her to her backside i smile as she says scoot . I squint ,  I don’t want water on my denim. 

 

SaLLY gets chatty over a glass of scotch and before long she tells me about brian her childhood lover who she married after high school but they were currently separated and she was dating his friend chris who is married to cassandra( kardashians can you keep up with my gal SaLLY?).

 

Brain was 36 when he met SaLLY who was barely 16 but with raging hormones and he was nice and matured . Different from the high school boys  , her parents were against the romance but with a lot of wooing of her parents they were married in 16 weeks. three years down the road all brain wanted was kids , kids , kids and work. After a couple of work trips and late nights . she started calling chris to complain and one day she made out with him on the couch. That was the beginning of the end . Brain found out and kicked her out but she was back on her feet. Chris set up an apartment for her with a monthly allowance . I smiled and looked at my wristwatch when will this tale end( i get it , you’re hot and men want to take care of you …duh!!!!) she holds my hands and says  ” i want to get married again”

 

Why do we get Married