How do I define fidelity? What is faithfulness in love? In marriage? In relationships. Do our hearts constantly betray us to obey where our bodies long to go? Do we make excuses for our bodies betrayal? What is faithfulness?
A friend called it a lack of opportunity to be unfaithful. I smiled.
Is faithfulness when I give my heart and commit my body to you? Is faithfulness not betraying you by giving strange looks to the cute guy checking me out at lunch?
Is faithfulness not giving into the temptations, even though you are miles away?
Why doesn’t the love I feel chase the loneliness away? Why doesn’t it take away the heat & the hunger? Why do I crave for you more?
Is faithfulness reaching out to you in any way, with any medium or I’m I too blind to see that I am not a woman in love? But one so full of lust that I have converted it to love? The books portray love with no shades of grey; the thoughts of another should make my skin fall off. Do I cringe at the thought of you with someone else???? I only wonder if it can even be (I am truly blinded in love)
Why do I need you? Why I’m I here struggling so hard to define a word that needs no definition.
We cheat when we pour our hearts to strangers we barely know, we cheat when we linger on in a hug, we cheat when we reminisce previous lives with our ex. We cheat when we fantasize of the crazy, sex and weird neighbour we always talk about. Yet we limit fidelity to crimes we commit with our bodies, the touching of our lips and caressing of arms.
Is love really exclusive because as far as I know for a while it is but love constantly evolves that’s why I am glad that as of today I am still in the truly, madly, deeply phase.