Mr. Blue


The outcome of last night events makes me stutter , as i recount them to my best friend, men , do i become sour . my eyes all puffed out : my lips form a full pout. me ? why now ? he said all these mean things , he didn’t mean . why now? Please give me some sauce Ross.. the intermission is over and the movie continues with Diana Ross playing softly in the back ground…..

Blue isn’t the kind of man to run his mouth off . so when he started to ramble i had to listen. In my head several thoughts came to mind . Who is she ? his new Prima donna ? he couldn’t still love me and hate me at the same time. I stared as his lips parted , words spewed out yet i heard nothing. Random ramblings, i am my own woman now , i am defined by my choices not anyones opinion. i tossed and turned in my head . Do i shut him up with a kiss? Did i miss this ? i unknowingly hiss. he’s pissed . He starts to babble about respect thats when i loose it?

Every aspect of my life is a sham, at work i am called goody too shoes, amongst friends : i’m Attila the Hun : my Ex’s : call me the Bully , at home : i AM the one who cannot be Named ? who cares ? i am who i am and what i am is amazing.. sammy pass me the remote..

Diego and maria lives are dull compared to mine …( she smiles & the curtains close)

The End



How do I define fidelity? What is faithfulness in love? In marriage? In relationships. Do our hearts constantly betray us to obey where our bodies long to go? Do we make excuses for our bodies betrayal? What is faithfulness?

A friend called it a lack of opportunity to be unfaithful.  I smiled.

Is faithfulness when I give my heart and commit my body to you?  Is faithfulness not betraying you by giving strange looks to the cute guy checking me out at lunch? 

Is faithfulness not giving into the temptations, even though you are miles away?

Why doesn’t the love I feel chase the loneliness away? Why doesn’t it take away the heat & the hunger? Why do I crave for you more? 

Is faithfulness reaching out to you in any way, with any medium or I’m I too blind to see that I am not a woman in love? But one so full of lust that I have converted it to love?  The books portray love with no shades of grey; the thoughts of another should make my skin fall off. Do I cringe at the thought of you with someone else???? I only wonder if it can even be (I am truly blinded in love) 

Why do I need you? Why I’m I here struggling so hard to define a word that needs no definition.

We cheat when we pour our hearts to strangers we barely know, we cheat when we linger on in a hug, we cheat when we reminisce previous lives with our ex. We cheat when we fantasize of the crazy, sex and weird neighbour we always talk about. Yet we limit fidelity to crimes we commit with our bodies, the touching of our lips and caressing of arms.

Is love really exclusive because as far as I know for a while it is but love constantly evolves that’s why I am glad that as of today I am still in the truly, madly, deeply phase.




MAN ( a dying race…)

First of all, this post is meant to incite a reaction in the reader irrespective of the gender and if it doesn’t I as a student of life have failed on the task.

A man in the context of this post is not defined by the possession of a male reproductive organ or a woman as one with the ability to produce children. Who is a Man? What qualifies one to be called a man?

In children books and fairy tales a Man is a hero, the one who saves the damsel in distress (Cinderella, Rapunzel etc.).

In comics like superman, batman and my recent favourite “V”: a super hero is a citizen who is ordinary yet willing to do the unthinkable to create a future where everyone is rid of corruption and dishonesty.

In the Movie 300, a boy is trained on how to become a man, he is put through tests and at last he becomes a man like his father and those before him. He is trained to defend and survive.

In the past, men were defined by their craft: swordsman, blacksmith, farmer, trader, teacher, postman, worker (civil servant), a medicine man, a preacher etc.  When a man came to ask for a woman’s hand he explained his craft and how he could provide for her and how she could assist him.

Pause, this isn’t limited to money, I am talking about self worth, pride, integrity and a future. There used to be a distinction from being a boy or an adult with a male reproductive organ.

I was at boots the other day; the sales assistant was a father. His wife and kids were in store shopping & I knew this because the boy walked up to him and said “ dad I want to grow up and work here like you” and his father said “no”. The son had a puzzled look and said “why?” and the father said, “Because I wont let you”.

I know the economic situation is not favourable and people are getting retrenched daily and getting a job even with a degree is hard but is that enough reason to no longer aspire to be a man? Martin Luther king and others strived in challenges to be the men they knew they should be. Even 2pac a street thug hustled to be his own man no matter how he went about it, no one dead or alive can call him anything less.

Is laziness fashionable in the 21st century, or is it because of the unbalanced ratio of females to male that women are accepting males with male reproductive organs as men instead of waiting for a real man?

Or is it as a result that a man is a rare gem in this century and anyone who has him? Will have to fight off other women?

Lets blame the equality movements (no we cant). The women have improved but the men not so much!!!!

The most shameful, the able bodied with the male reproductive organ. I see them frequently at the city centres with their owners. What’s not obvious to the undiscerning is their invisible dog collar and chain. They follow these women everywhere and can’t leave their sight without a tracker (their mobile phones).

No wonder you don’t get dinners made for you, you are a loyal companion if you stray she will buy another dog.

A woman is a helper created to assist.  She is a queen who supports her king. Why are you making her lead? Why are you not a king?

The 21st century person with the male reproductive organ has given up on the high standards for himself, but his expectation of his female counterpart has evolved from that of the average man.

He requires a female with a minimum college degree, a job, to be well groomed, soft-spoken, and decent, a goddess in the sheets and a homemaker. His expectations has increased than that of his ancestors he requires her perfect without emotional baggage too (very funny indeed).

The 21st century female in the bid to become perfect has gradually started to loose her femininity and is becoming a man.

This Emotionally challenged and somewhat confused person with the male reproductive organ is like a fashion accessory (almost every female has one) , how does he differ from the toys sold in shops?

The toys require batteries: he requires food

Toys require casing& cleaning:  he requires shelter and pampering

Toys require participation; he require manuals on how to please (yes, judge me!)

The movie “the bounty hunter”: Milo Boyd is damaged by his wife’s leaving him that he is deep in debts and all sorts, till he gets her back, I weep).

Is this the evolution of men we admired as little girls?

Where is the masculine pride?

What the hell is wrong with waking up at 5am and hustling? Is it a dying trend?




As a woman who strives to be perfect I tend to check things in my mental checklist. I do it subconsciously all the time while shopping, when my friends talk to me, with my siblings I keep checking trying to come up with a reason why this is what it is.

Before I bore myself and anyone who reads this piece let me go to the particular checklist most of us have. The relationship checklist. Every practical woman above 20 should have one. Lets be honest, the men have a checklist why not us?

In recent times, who I’m I kidding for the past three years I have been doing the relationship cleanse. I used to be a relationship junkie in the sense that if a man met 30% of the checklist I would dive in and believe romance would balance it out.

Seven checklists down the road now I think I have found the perfect checklist and this is what I use now to screen potential suitors. I know there are people who judge my thinking process, my writing and my style but I can’t help but be myself so here is my checklist ladies ENJOY AND MEN BEWARE:










































































The rest is up to the higher powers, God. I have realized some people are close to perfect but they are not perfect for you, so if a guy passes the checklist then my heart should confirm him. I wish I could say that I have stuck to the list every time or I would but its just my way of knowing there’s a way to filter the crazies.

The romantic jumps in the practical’s ones check the list before they love. What kind of person are you? A checklist person or anti-checklist? Holla and let me know.