Dear Daughter,

Dear Natalie,

This letter should come to you as no surprise, as I hope the years we have spent so far together have been joyful and light-hearted. As you turn 16, I hope we are closer than ever because today though you are unborn I find myself closer to you than ever.

I met your father when I had almost given up on the idea of happily ever after, I am a hopeless romantic and there were nights I prayed to God to change me but in the end I always hope for the kind of love that enriches life and not sucks you dry. We met at a book reading, nothing fancy but he found me pleasant and charming, fun-loving yet stern, my awkwardness, and eeriness he considered creepy yet endearing. He worships the ground I walk on and even till date when I am not looking I catch him staring at me as though he can’t imagine his luck for having found me. As you know your pa was hell-bent on ending up alone but the thought of living life without me made him take the plunge.

I hope you never get to the point of giving up, or settling for less than you deserve because you need a hug. I know today that thought seems ridiculous but believe me it happens to the best of us, I dated lots of great men and boys but my heart never felt such joy as the day I had you ( in my mind you were conceived first), you made me rediscover purpose and you are a result of a mind-blowing love.

Someone asked me what is so bad with my reality that I am stuck on fairy tales; he obviously hasn’t read lots of books. fairy tales teaches us hope despite what life throws at us, the end is always happy. Why should I settle for ordinary when the extraordinary is available?

Who wants a marriage of convenience? My quest for true love was filled with tales of woe and heartaches and pain but it was worth it. I wish I had been smarter with my heart, a little more patient in my decision-making process but I can’t spend eternity dwelling on the past. I loved and lost till I found a love that transcended imperfections and childish connotations, I found a friend and a lover, a champion and a warrior, I found my King and I wish that for you my dear.

When it comes to dealing with people:

Listen to their actions, not words

Never make haste to make a decision

A non decision is a decision

Friends first before lovers

Friendship shows true character and only out of that can you find love

Take your own advice, if your heads says its wrong it probably is

Never regret trying

If you fail, don’t give up, try again

People make time for things they love

If you can’t see their souls they are not worth it

If you won’t do the work don’t start

Never toy with anyone’s feelings

Be honest and brave

Guard your heart and your soul, never lose it no matter how bad the other person treats you, remain you

Never mind the ones who make you feel ordinary. You are a miracle, a result of a love people consider impossible. Everyday, I thank GOD for the privilege of having you, so don’t let a two-piece hack tell you different.

If there ever is a man alive who doesn’t think you are enough; he probably isn’t enough for you either so don’t cry too long. For the right man you will be enough.

Don’t let the clusters of people’s past get you stuck in a nightmare, their history isn’t yours, you are great and are loved. Today and always and if no one tells you in this lifetime, I am your mother and I love you to bits.



Celebration of Life..

My dad passed a few weeks ago and I have tried to pen how I feel. He was an old and very wise man who said to me about 8years ago that he would know when his time is near. The truth be told he told us his time was up and a month later he was gone from us.

Friends, colleagues and friends of friends have asked me how I feel; the answer is downcast but not downtrodden.  Some how I feel free yet I feel watched. I feel his piercing eyes when I’m about to do something wrong. I know God constantly watches us but with my dads passing I feel he is privy to me more than I would like to share. This is frightening and disconcerting. I think it has to be with my desire to get my act together in life especially my personal life and with his passing the desire to make him proud is more reinforced.

My dad was more spiritual than most, he read at least a page of a book a day and kept abreast the daily musings in the world. As a young man from a small town he braved the world and conquered it with tales of many distant lands.

Yet a Man he was flawed and all but we loved him all and in the days to come I hope we all find the peace we need.

He lived his life and this we celebrate. Dad you were and are loved from the tiniest parts of the earth to the largest parts of the continent. You are loved through family, friends, and us your kids and loved ones as you ride on angel wings. Be free papa, you stayed true to your beliefs and were never shaken, now that you can see the world beyond I hope it meets your expectation.

 I hope we meet some day at our master’s feet.

 We celebrate YOU Papa!

Oyenneke Douglas Warmate (September 20, 1934-March 29, 2013). 

Rest in Peace.