Laura Andrews

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As Laura Andrews wore her favourite pink heels out of her apartment she knew today would be the day men prayed to God for a miracle. She strutted them like a pro off the runway. Her date was with her newest broker Mr. Miles Mufasa, He is of south African descent but born and raised in England , so you could taste his accent when he smiled . His perfume was delicate yet masculine a perfect british lay . Her Phone a samsung galaxy S3 rang and she danced a little to the tune with her shoulders swaying from right to left ( of course it was the beyonce’s song “who runs the world? ” girls song) . Immediately she heard his voice her inside resolve started to melt away , she wanted this man to touch her core .There was something in his voice pulling her towards him .she didn’t realize that he was cancelling their date till he said ” rain check darling”. who does that ? get a girl hot & bothered and cancel because you have a blablabla… meeting with your bosses friend. she sighed ,these heels can’t go to waste. she started scrolling through her whatsapp for the next available cutie. she let out a subtle chuckle at the name Leman Banks. They had met at a mall a few weeks ago and had coffee but she didn’t see potentials with a man who cared more about his looks than her but she was a beggar at this point so she can’t choose, so he would do for tonight. she sent him a blushing smiley and after the pleasantries : she told him that she was up & about and wanted to do dinner at his .. Did he mind? of course he said HELL nO.. (who are we kidding?) she rang alicia and told her not to wait up, and headed towards Vain Leman . As she rung the bell , she began to doubt her actions, was this rushed , too impulsive and then decided whatever we only live once. As Leman opened the door he looked as usual : smart casual sexy , smelled like bvlgari man extreme, she gave him a side hug and a peck on the cheek. She showed herself to the sitting area and there was Miles …………. To be Continued…..

suzy Adams

Suzy stood tall over 6ft and 3inches as she towered over me , I couldn’t help but stare into her big brown eyes .They look sad as always . I smiled and alighted from the car and gave her a big hug. We were all having a crappy week but I am going to keep my thoughts to myself for once and listen to her ( that’s friendship) . She just learned that Jide was married and their 7months perfect romance was over because last night his wife came back to town to surprise her hubby and rained down insults on the both of them ( I knew jide was married but I didn’t tell her because I had no proof other than my gut feeling and his annoying smile whenever  I meet him). A lying scum bag .

she kept raining insults on him and my mind began to drift , I spent Tuesday with Patrick , A Lawyer (semi refined man) but at my age I have to compromise a little . He dotes over me but I cant see a relationship growing from our numerous lunch dates. I don’t feel the passion and he said something about spending a weekend together . I am definitely not going any where private with that man ( I giggle and suzy looks at me ).

I know its not funny her predicament but as my good friend lola says “when its too good to be true, it isn’t true ” . Jide met suzy at the infamous Turquoise car wash . its where all the crème de la crème go to wash their cars . she drives a range rover sport and likes everyone to know it. it took four years and hustling to get her the range .

Jide was all over her immediately ,  they had dinner at  dunes and breakfast at vanilla, he shopped for her all over the place they were an item in a couple of weeks. everyone envied them except his friends and hers( me).

They made love for the first time in Dubai at the famous Burj Al Arab, she sent me a selfie  of herself in the Jacuzzi. I warned her that things seemed to be growing too fast , she called me a pessimist.

she snapped her fingers at me and said ” you haven’t heard a word I said ” . “of course , I did” I replied and started telling her about my latest catch mr  Brown Daniels . I told her it would take her mind off him

Brown Daniels is a chef , he owns a little restaurant I often go to eat lunch, he wears glasses but every time we have eye contact I shy away . recently , he asked for my number so randomly that I was unsure if it was romantic or business.

he invited me for dinner and after the soufflé ,  I let him have me three times on the restaurant floor. Suzy started to laugh and called me the S** word but who cares ? that’s how to have a man and a meal without complications.

 

 

Why do we get married ?

Why do people get married ?  sally asked barbara as they sipped martinis . i smiled i am so over Mr. Blue with his mixed signal after the horrible double date with the marleys i swear being single isn’t that bad.

 

Yesterday , i went to a pool party and met samson, emmanuel, joel , jerry and steve , three out of five of them were married. They carried on like they had no cares in the world . As the games began ( the drinking games ) i saw them ogle like teenagers after their first wet dream.  it raised the question why do we get married?

Jerry 45 , hot dude , four and  a half packs, a middle management executive in a government a parastatal with 2 kids and 1 in the oven.. , Joey 36 , married last year came with his young mistress who is 21 years old, no kids,  emmanuel , 40 , 4 kids married 8 years . 

SaLLY Johnson , food of the Gods , we ogled her : men , women, girls , boys and cats etc. the random passersby only hoped to catch a glimpse of this miracle. she stood before me in her blue and white bikini . Her curves seem like they were carved in marble , fine and smooth as she just came out of the pool , water  dripping from her to her backside i smile as she says scoot . I squint ,  I don’t want water on my denim. 

 

SaLLY gets chatty over a glass of scotch and before long she tells me about brian her childhood lover who she married after high school but they were currently separated and she was dating his friend chris who is married to cassandra( kardashians can you keep up with my gal SaLLY?).

 

Brain was 36 when he met SaLLY who was barely 16 but with raging hormones and he was nice and matured . Different from the high school boys  , her parents were against the romance but with a lot of wooing of her parents they were married in 16 weeks. three years down the road all brain wanted was kids , kids , kids and work. After a couple of work trips and late nights . she started calling chris to complain and one day she made out with him on the couch. That was the beginning of the end . Brain found out and kicked her out but she was back on her feet. Chris set up an apartment for her with a monthly allowance . I smiled and looked at my wristwatch when will this tale end( i get it , you’re hot and men want to take care of you …duh!!!!) she holds my hands and says  ” i want to get married again”

 

Why do we get Married

Mr. Blue

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The outcome of last night events makes me stutter , as i recount them to my best friend, men , do i become sour . my eyes all puffed out : my lips form a full pout. me ? why now ? he said all these mean things , he didn’t mean . why now? Please give me some sauce Ross.. the intermission is over and the movie continues with Diana Ross playing softly in the back ground…..

Blue isn’t the kind of man to run his mouth off . so when he started to ramble i had to listen. In my head several thoughts came to mind . Who is she ? his new Prima donna ? he couldn’t still love me and hate me at the same time. I stared as his lips parted , words spewed out yet i heard nothing. Random ramblings, i am my own woman now , i am defined by my choices not anyones opinion. i tossed and turned in my head . Do i shut him up with a kiss? Did i miss this ? i unknowingly hiss. he’s pissed . He starts to babble about respect thats when i loose it?

Every aspect of my life is a sham, at work i am called goody too shoes, amongst friends : i’m Attila the Hun : my Ex’s : call me the Bully , at home : i AM the one who cannot be Named ? who cares ? i am who i am and what i am is amazing.. sammy pass me the remote..

Diego and maria lives are dull compared to mine …( she smiles & the curtains close)

The End

Fidelity

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How do I define fidelity? What is faithfulness in love? In marriage? In relationships. Do our hearts constantly betray us to obey where our bodies long to go? Do we make excuses for our bodies betrayal? What is faithfulness?

A friend called it a lack of opportunity to be unfaithful.  I smiled.

Is faithfulness when I give my heart and commit my body to you?  Is faithfulness not betraying you by giving strange looks to the cute guy checking me out at lunch? 

Is faithfulness not giving into the temptations, even though you are miles away?

Why doesn’t the love I feel chase the loneliness away? Why doesn’t it take away the heat & the hunger? Why do I crave for you more? 

Is faithfulness reaching out to you in any way, with any medium or I’m I too blind to see that I am not a woman in love? But one so full of lust that I have converted it to love?  The books portray love with no shades of grey; the thoughts of another should make my skin fall off. Do I cringe at the thought of you with someone else???? I only wonder if it can even be (I am truly blinded in love) 

Why do I need you? Why I’m I here struggling so hard to define a word that needs no definition.

We cheat when we pour our hearts to strangers we barely know, we cheat when we linger on in a hug, we cheat when we reminisce previous lives with our ex. We cheat when we fantasize of the crazy, sex and weird neighbour we always talk about. Yet we limit fidelity to crimes we commit with our bodies, the touching of our lips and caressing of arms.

Is love really exclusive because as far as I know for a while it is but love constantly evolves that’s why I am glad that as of today I am still in the truly, madly, deeply phase.

 

 

Mind-Blowing-and-Beautiful-Photographs-of-Lovers

FB couples

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I stare at FB pictures and I see the couples looking picture perfect. The fathers look extremely excited by carrying their newborns, the wives look proud and loving at their accomplishment. I wonder if I would ever look like them (the perfect couples)

I have taken sappy photos with the Lover at some point (those pictures with your faces pressed against each other and I looked a million miles away from reality, I looked happy)

The lover and I have reached those unwritten finished lines, fundamental differences, the honeymoon phase is long gone, the reality phase, memories away .All I see now are the differences and why we can’t be together forever. Today, The Facebook pictures remind me how conflicting my choices are from my needs and wants.

Why haven’t I ever picked the easy guy? The one with whom I foresee no possible drama? (The sure thing in relationships, we all know this)

Do I love in small doses? Thrive on complexity and enjoy singleness and pretend to want forever. Or have I been dealt poor cards in this game of love?

I don’t know and please don’t tell me because I want to wake up everyday with endless possibilities and answering this question will ruin the surprise.

Celebration of Life..

My dad passed a few weeks ago and I have tried to pen how I feel. He was an old and very wise man who said to me about 8years ago that he would know when his time is near. The truth be told he told us his time was up and a month later he was gone from us.

Friends, colleagues and friends of friends have asked me how I feel; the answer is downcast but not downtrodden.  Some how I feel free yet I feel watched. I feel his piercing eyes when I’m about to do something wrong. I know God constantly watches us but with my dads passing I feel he is privy to me more than I would like to share. This is frightening and disconcerting. I think it has to be with my desire to get my act together in life especially my personal life and with his passing the desire to make him proud is more reinforced.

My dad was more spiritual than most, he read at least a page of a book a day and kept abreast the daily musings in the world. As a young man from a small town he braved the world and conquered it with tales of many distant lands.

Yet a Man he was flawed and all but we loved him all and in the days to come I hope we all find the peace we need.

He lived his life and this we celebrate. Dad you were and are loved from the tiniest parts of the earth to the largest parts of the continent. You are loved through family, friends, and us your kids and loved ones as you ride on angel wings. Be free papa, you stayed true to your beliefs and were never shaken, now that you can see the world beyond I hope it meets your expectation.

 I hope we meet some day at our master’s feet.

 We celebrate YOU Papa!

Oyenneke Douglas Warmate (September 20, 1934-March 29, 2013). 

Rest in Peace.

 

Torn

The lover and I have been reunited after several strained Internet conversations,phone calls , texts,  a 7hours flight and a 2hour train ride.

I haven’t seen sunlight in days, I think I maybe going dark. The endless texting is no longer required. I lie next to him in bed and I feel inspired. I am alive!!!!!

The passers by look so sad as I watch them through the window. Who has what I have?

I have missed his scent on the sheets, his muffled grunts in his sleep. My lover 🙂 I never get tired of the sound of that.

After 105hours of unbridled passion reality has caught up with me. Now I want to step out of bed and paint like Picasso, or sing like Whitney .In this moment I am torn between happiness and the fear of loosing myself.

I want to escape my womanhood; the clutches of my biological clock and love this man but I hear voices of my babies unborn and I am torn. I want to embrace the strength that makes me want his love to move mountains.

 I want to be woman and wolf!! Free & not alone, married & not shackled.  I want to be an achiever yet a giver, truly a lover and mother.

How do I find balance? How do I find me?

 

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BitterSweet

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Hey babe,

Like dark chocolate , the bitter sweet phase of the relationship is here. I used to get tired by how often you called. You would facetime , Skype , text, bb and whatsapp me about the tiniest details in your day. The days have started to go by when we hardly chat at each other. How do i know its just a phase ? a rough patch couples go through when life gets in the way ?

Im i supposed to keep trying so you notice i am still here or should i cut my losses and disappear.  I call you and i dont hear the excitement in your voice and i know we are miles apart but what kind of relationship cant stand a little rough patch?

I keep telling everyone i meet about you and show them pictures of our life .. Today it seems like a lot of lifetimes ago. Babe, I need you to need me. I need us to try if this is worth fighting for.

Till date i have never loved any as hard as i love you . Yet, it seems that somewhere in your mind you are giving up on us. I am torn between my heart and my head. swoon in and ease my fears. Be the predator i love.

Crush these doubts to bits and be my knight with shining armour( this sounds ridiculous)  . I miss us and as days pass i fear there are darker days ahead.

Come back home to me baby. Come home, Mummy needs you , I need you..

your lover,

xxx

My Husband

 

My husband has led several topics of conversations among ladies, girls and women. My husband did that or did this; my husband should or would do this. The fairy-tale concept of prince charming is rapidly dying and the husband is the new myth. The husband is the man that makes other women envy you. He is the man with a plan, He can make great decisions and he looks great in and out of a suit, tolerates your friends, loves your family and loves you to bits? Really? I want one of those?

 

Who is my husband? I keep wondering and as 2013 approaches I look around to all the men in my life starting from my father down to my brother and all the boyfriends, toasters and love interests I have ever had and now I define my husband.

 

He is my friend, we laugh at weird jokes because we both have a twisted sense of humour, my husband is bright but who am I kidding he’s not an astronaut. I don’t want any one too full of themselves like Sheldon cooper (big bang theories addict LOL).

 

My husband is bigger than the average man because he’s not afraid to be with a woman who challenges him and inspires him to do better. A man who is not easily deterred. He is a caregiver and in the sac he’s a lion and a mouse. He’s not afraid of baby poo or to make a meal. He knows that despite the side of the clock I will always be by his side.

 

We make big bucks together and if challenges happen it will makes us stronger. When its time to have fun we party like rock stars. Our children are blessed because they are raised to fear God and believe his word. My husband is the best. I get it now ah ha that’s why those women keep bragging about their husbands? (It’s not to make us single ones sad?  Really…) 

 

I will enjoy these single days with no bragging rights because I know someday I will bore some young people with amazing tales of my soul mate and my husband (I like the sound of that…. my husband, bbm smiley face …xox)

 

2013 here I come….

 

 

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