Torn


The lover and I have been reunited after several strained Internet conversations,phone calls , texts,  a 7hours flight and a 2hour train ride.

I haven’t seen sunlight in days, I think I maybe going dark. The endless texting is no longer required. I lie next to him in bed and I feel inspired. I am alive!!!!!

The passers by look so sad as I watch them through the window. Who has what I have?

I have missed his scent on the sheets, his muffled grunts in his sleep. My lover 🙂 I never get tired of the sound of that.

After 105hours of unbridled passion reality has caught up with me. Now I want to step out of bed and paint like Picasso, or sing like Whitney .In this moment I am torn between happiness and the fear of loosing myself.

I want to escape my womanhood; the clutches of my biological clock and love this man but I hear voices of my babies unborn and I am torn. I want to embrace the strength that makes me want his love to move mountains.

 I want to be woman and wolf!! Free & not alone, married & not shackled.  I want to be an achiever yet a giver, truly a lover and mother.

How do I find balance? How do I find me?

 

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